On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
