Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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