Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just saw a hot homeless man
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I cut my penus on the lid.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
