Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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