and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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