so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
