who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
