im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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