The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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