apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
