You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I love having hate sex.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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