it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize