i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
