I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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