I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You are a genius and a whore.
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