why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
