lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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