If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
