I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
