He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Randomize
