so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
