Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
