We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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