so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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