go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
