After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
