break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize