nut hugger
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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