I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
