my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
