Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
