Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
