SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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