Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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