If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
