yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
