in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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