using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
