That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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