DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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