You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
