There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
