The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize