get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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