Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
