She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
