I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
