We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
