it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
