I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
