Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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