i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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