is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
