So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
