I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
