i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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