i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You ruined the universe
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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