that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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