i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
