every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
soo... how was my night?
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