I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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