What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
