The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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