so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
