I just made out with a guy for $7.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
