So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
