So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
